Little Red Hearts From God

God Is Love: Hospice Journey

2012-01-29T05:48:00.000-08:00

My Faith: What people talk about before they die
Editor's Note: Kerry Egan is a hospice chaplain in Massachusetts and the author of "Fumbling: A Pilgrimage Tale of Love, Grief, and Spiritual Renewal on the Camino de Santiago."
By Kerry Egan, Special to CNN

As a divinity school student, I had just started working as a student chaplain at a cancer hospital when my professor asked me about my work. I was 26 years old and still learning what a chaplain did.

"I talk to the patients," I told him.

"You talk to patients? And tell me, what do people who are sick and dying talk to the student chaplain about?" he asked.

I had never considered the question before. “Well,” I responded slowly, “Mostly we talk about their families.”

“Do you talk about God?

“Umm, not usually.”

“Or their religion?”

“Not so much.”

“The meaning of their lives?”

“Sometimes.”

“And prayer? Do you lead them in prayer? Or ritual?”

“Well,” I hesitated. “Sometimes. But not usually, not really.”

I felt derision creeping into the professor's voice. “So you just visit people and talk about their families?”

“Well, they talk. I mostly listen.”

“Huh.” He leaned back in his chair.

A week later, in the middle of a lecture in this professor's packed class, he started to tell a story about a student he once met who was a chaplain intern at a hospital.
“And I asked her, 'What exactly do you do as a chaplain?' And she replied, 'Well, I talk to people about their families.'” He paused for effect. “And that was this student's understanding of faith! That was as deep as this person's spiritual life went! Talking about other people's families!”

The students laughed at the shallowness of the silly student. The professor was on a roll.
“And I thought to myself,” he continued, “that if I was ever sick in the hospital, if I was ever dying, that the last person I would ever want to see is some Harvard Divinity School student chaplain wanting to talk to me about my family.”

My body went numb with shame. At the time I thought that maybe, if I was a better chaplain, I would know how to talk to people about big spiritual questions. Maybe if dying people met with a good, experienced chaplain they would talk about God, I thought.

Today, 13 years later, I am a hospice chaplain. I visit people who are dying – in their homes, in hospitals, in nursing homes. And if you were to ask me the same question - What do people who are sick and dying talk about with the chaplain? – I, without hesitation or uncertainty, would give you the same answer. Mostly, they talk about their families: about their mothers and fathers, their sons and daughters.

They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave. Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally.

They talk about how they learned what love is, and what it is not. And sometimes, when they are actively dying, fluid gurgling in their throats, they reach their hands out to things I cannot see and they call out to their parents: Mama, Daddy, Mother.

What I did not understand when I was a student then, and what I would explain to that professor now, is that people talk to the chaplain about their families because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives. That is how we talk about the big spiritual questions of human existence.

We don't live our lives in our heads, in theology and theories. We live our lives in our families: the families we are born into, the families we create, the families we make through the people we choose as friends.

This is where we create our lives, this is where we find meaning, this is where our purpose becomes clear.

Family is where we first experience love and where we first give it. It's probably the first place we've been hurt by someone we love, and hopefully the place we learn that love can overcome even the most painful rejection.

This crucible of love is where we start to ask those big spiritual questions, and ultimately where they end.

I have seen such expressions of love: A husband gently washing his wife's face with a cool washcloth, cupping the back of her bald head in his hand to get to the nape of her neck, because she is too weak to lift it from the pillow. A daughter spooning pudding into the mouth of her mother, a woman who has not recognized her for years.

A wife arranging the pillow under the head of her husband's no-longer-breathing body as she helps the undertaker lift him onto the waiting stretcher.

We don't learn the meaning of our lives by discussing it. It's not to be found in books or lecture halls or even churches or synagogues or mosques. It's discovered through these actions of love.

If God is love, and we believe that to be true, then we learn about God when we learn about love. The first, and usually the last, classroom of love is the family.

Sometimes that love is not only imperfect, it seems to be missing entirely. Monstrous things can happen in families. Too often, more often than I want to believe possible, patients tell me what it feels like when the person you love beats you or rapes you. They tell me what it feels like to know that you are utterly unwanted by your parents. They tell me what it feels like to be the target of someone's rage. They tell me what it feels like to know that you abandoned your children, or that your drinking destroyed your family, or that you failed to care for those who needed you.

Even in these cases, I am amazed at the strength of the human soul. People who did not know love in their families know that they should have been loved. They somehow know what was missing, and what they deserved as children and adults.

When the love is imperfect, or a family is destructive, something else can be learned: forgiveness. The spiritual work of being human is learning how to love and how to forgive.
We don’t have to use words of theology to talk about God; people who are close to death almost never do. We should learn from those who are dying that the best way to teach our children about God is by loving each other wholly and forgiving each other fully - just as each of us longs to be loved and forgiven by our mothers and fathers, sons and daughters.

Beautiful Exchange

2012-01-29T04:56:00.000-08:00

Pour Your love on me Father....like praises from perfume....

for I was lost and insecure.... but mercy falls...

And I am reminded of my redemption.

Perfection in Your eyes...

it was a Beautiful Exchange...

Amen Father....

Blessings of 2011

2012-01-21T14:41:00.000-08:00

so... this past year has been busy. My son is really growing up. Fast and furious. He is driving now. Has a girlfriend. We will be traveling to Savannah to hear him sing soon.

Our daughter just bought her first house. Loves her job. she is doing great.

And our other daughter is expecting her third son...

Life is great...

Thank you Lord for our blessings.

Thinking of you...

2011-12-24T11:14:00.000-08:00

I always think of my dad this time of year... he always made Christmas special... wishing you a Merry Christmas in Heaven Dad.... Love you

My heart

2011-07-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I remember a heart very similiar to this being drawn and placed in my lap by my daughter. In a barren room, the little girl drew beautiful hearts as she tried to heal my broken heart.

And so is born... Little Red Hearts From God....

Today, Chyenne and I had this heart artifully drawn in a memoriable place that she and I can share....

To my sweet girl...

I love you

Tweeting

2011-06-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

you can now also follow me on Twitter...

Bloggers, Tweeters and Facebookers

2011-06-07T05:16:00.001-07:00

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect" ~Anais Nin

Aggie

2011-05-31T13:29:00.001-07:00

Boccia Agawam Blush (Aggie)
(1998-2011)

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for your faithfulness to our family.

Thank you for "Aggie Tag"

Thank you for protecting our children.

Thank you for the memories.

You will be missed ....

With all our love

In Memory Of Jayne

2011-05-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

It has been thirty years since my best friend went Home. I always think about her this time of year as we were graduating from Nursing School and filled with hopes and dreams. We had our whole life in front of us. The day Jayne died, I had spent the day with her. She shared her dreams with me on that day more than she ever had. It was as if…

I like to think those dreams are being fulfilled in the Heavenly realms…

Jayne left behind a beautiful little girl that is now grown. Jayne she looks so much like you. She makes me smile.

My road to tenderness in our memories has not always been this easy. I spent many years filled with anger and rage over your brutal death. But our Heavenly Dad walked me through the most passion-filled forgiveness. Something I will hold onto until we see each other again.

Thank you for the lessons I have learned. Grace and Love.

In sweet memory of Jayne Autry… I miss you… I love you….
(1954-1981)

The Christian Perspective??

2011-05-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

I have had a stirring, uncomfortable at times, since hearing of the death of Bin Laden. If I am honest, I will admit to rejoicing on the initial announcement in learning of the Navy Seals storming Bin Laden's home and taking his life---long overdue.

Then my mind wondered to what he was thinking now as he stood before God. A sadness washed over me.

Confused over the emotions of anger and sadness, I prayed for enlightenment. I have family in the military that are putting their lives on the line for people "like this." We know what it is like to sit around the Christmas table each year without our family as they are off at war fighting for our freedom. Truly, I do understand.

Also, I understand what it is like to lose someone in the brutality of murder. I have lost my best friend and my step dad at the hands of the evil. Yet, I chose to forgive.

In this post, this pastor does a good job explaining what I have felt... and I thought I would share...

Blessings...

Color Splash

2011-04-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Just playing around my camera.. some pictures I took

Hogan's Debut

2011-04-11T03:19:00.000-07:00

turn the music off below.... click on arrow to turn video on...

Spring Day

2011-04-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

Great Spring day....

with the kiddo's and the pets....

God is so good....

Live

2011-03-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

Be Fearless..... Out live your life.....

The Act of Kindness

2011-03-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the act of kindness we get hurt...but then sometimes in the act of pain we find kindness....

Connie Barris

Cry Out To Jesus

2011-02-19T07:36:00.001-08:00

This song says it all... let us cry out to Jesus...

Enjoy this beautiful Day....

love you...

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all my wonderful friends...

May the love of God embrace you!!

Flashback Prayer

2011-01-29T12:55:00.000-08:00

I recall a vivid memory as a little girl. I was riding in the car with my grandfather and I thought for sure we would die that day. What is it with us as we grow old and our ability to drive? or there lack of?

Today, I took my son driving. He's 15 years-old. I suddenly had a flashback of that day with my grandfather.

I am not sure I will ever be the same!!

Please say a prayer for me, maybe both of us. Hey, maybe even you if you are on the road.

Happy Heavenly 3rd Birthday

2011-01-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

Happy 3rd Birthday, Dad

Bryant L Franklin

October 2, 1939 - January 24, 2008

I love you

The Race

2011-01-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

“Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last.” Luke 13:30

I have spent all my life trying to be the best at everything. As a little girl, I wanted to be the best at school, the best softball player, the best fisherman, yea the coolest motorcycle, you name it, and the list goes on. To be chosen last on a team or to not be chosen at all was devastating to my fragile ego and only caused me to raise the bar of perfection even higher.

Fast forward to my years as an adult, I wanted to be the best nurse and I didn’t hesitate to let you know that I probably was the best. It took me a long time to figure out this was causing great strife in my work life as well as my inner peace. I continually drew the line in the sand and dared you to step over it. No wonder I was miserable.

It would literally take a whack upside the head to get my attention. And God did. Get my attention that is. Possibly He is the One that whacked me upside the head with a measuring stick, the one that I had been measuring my life with all these years.

I needed a good dose of humility and I got it. The past year has been a revealing year. Just the other day everything that came out of my mouth was wrong and I looked like an idiot while trying to make a first impression. It suddenly reminded me of the words a friend had shared the day before, “And there are those that are last who will be first…” Luke 13:30

I laughed out loud. I know the person I was with thought I had lost my mind (well what else is new). I silently prayed a thanks of gratitude to God, for I get it now.

I know (most days) that God is the only One that will be first and well, I just am along for the ride.

Thankfully this is a race with no end...

Berry College

2011-01-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

Swan Lake Berry College

Old Mill, Berry College, Rome Georgia

Snow Day 2011

(by F. Childers)

The Plan

2011-01-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

In the beginning, was the plan...

And then came the assumptions.

And the assumptions were without form.

And the plan was completely without substance.

And a darkness fell upon the faces of the Employees.

And they spoke amongst themselves, saying "It is a load of crap and it stinks."

And the Employees went to their Supervisors, saying "It is a bucket of dung and no one can bear the odour."

And the Supervisors went to their Managers, saying "It is a container of excrement and its smell is so strong that none can abide it."

And the Managers went to their Divisional Directors, saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer and none can abide its strength."

And the Directors went to their Executive Directors, saying "It aids plant growth and it is very strong."

And the Executive Directors went to the President, saying "Our plan promotes growth and it is very powerful."

And the President went to the Board of Directors, saying "This new plan will actively promote the growth of this organization."

And the Board of Directors looked upon the plan and saw that it was good and the plan became policy.

And that my friends is the way it is...

The Old Man's Heart

2011-01-04T13:12:00.001-08:00

What did you say? Sitting next to him, I impatiently asked.

And then I saw the pain in his eyes that told me he was doing his best.

He was old now and his speech had begun to slur. I took his hand and held it. I was convicted. The twinge of pain ate at my soul. I looked at his hands. They were wrinkled and aged--they were old. He shook as he squeezed my hand back. There was an unspoken language between us at that moment.

In that brief existence, his heart spoke of a time when he was vibrant and virile. A man who raised a family. A man that had a career and worked a garden in the hot Sun. This is the reason his hands were weathered today.

His heart spoke through his eyes, he was a man of God. Although my impatience saddened him deeply, he understood. For he had once been young and he too had been quick to judge an elderly man like himself as I did him today. Oh, he understood, he just didn't like it.

I saw all this in the look of his eyes and the small tear that fell.

Time passed and we sat there quietly--together.

An understanding.

A forgiveness.

A love.

God's Night Lite

2011-01-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

I would think if God had a night lite this would be it...

Picture taken by my good friend Ben Pridemore MD in Iceland

Happy New Year to all my friends..

White Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T03:18:00.001-08:00

The Best Christmas ever!!!

God is amazing!!!!

It's a BOY!

2010-12-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

"And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting
Father, Prince of Peace" Isaiah 9:6

It's a Boy !!!!

There were no announcements sent out, no baby showers, no ultrasounds with baby pictures for a scrapbook, not even a hospital or warm bassinette.

Jesus was born in a manger with stinky animals upon hay feed for the animals on a cold winter night. But His birth would forever change the
world.

His name would be:

JESUS - The messiah.

WONDERFUL COUNSELOR -- Literally He is "wonder of a counselor." He gives comfort and strength throughout time and eternity.

MIGHTY GOD -- He is full omnipotence; El--the strong One. Literally He is,the "God-hero." He is the Mighty God.

ETERNAL FATHER -- He is everlastingly a Father. He is loving, paternal,concerned, tender, faithful, wise, guardian, provider and protector.

PRINCE OF PEACE -- He rules over His people with peace. The peace He gives is eternal. He is the embodiment of peace, therefore He rules over His
redeemed people as a Prince bringing peace.

The names of God are endless. He is impossible to define, His attributes
never ending!

He is my Savior - my King - and I am His daughter.

He is all-sufficient (El Shaddai) and the most high God (El Elyon), my
everything and my amen.

No matter what life holds, take time to acknowledge His name and
attributes.

As you do, an awareness of who He has been and will be to you becomes the
reason we can face today and find strength for every tomorrow.

But most of all, He is my Jesus and my Daddy.

The Honor Was Mine

2010-12-20T05:19:00.001-08:00

She held her mom’s hand just as her mom held her hand the day she was born-with tremendous love and passion. That was their first day together she had only imagined her mom was thinking.

A tear fell as she now was shook back into her reality. This would probably be their last day joined as mother and daughter. She sat at her bed holding her hand ready to escort her into the presence of the Almighty. She was presenting her as an offering to the honor He was due.

Little did she know—the honor would be hers.

Moments before her mom entered eternity she experienced what would change the course of her life—forever!

She held her mom’s hand as family surrounded her. It would not be long the doctors and Hospice nurses told.

And the story is told. An experience witnessed by her family. Her daughter felt a sudden surge of her skin on fire and then she began to weep uncontrollably but this was soon replaced by a sense of peace that cannot be explained in any human words. She felt a peace and tranquility that washed over her body and soul. She could not cry if she wanted to. She felt no sorrow. She also could not let go of her mother’s hand. They were one. She looked at her mom as she struggled for every earthly breath. Her mom did not seem to be aware of any of this. Her family stood around her and kept asking, “What is it?” All she could do was smile, and then she laughed. She felt sure they thought she had lost her mind, she felt sure she had lost her mind.

All-too-quickly it was over, and her mom entered eternity. The feelings were gone and she let go of her hand. She stepped back to see if what happened really happened.

She was speechless.

She had handed over her precious mother to the arms of Jesus. How could she cry?

There would be rejoicing for she had stood at the doors of Heaven.

The honor due –given by the daughter of the King.

“The honor was mine Father,” she said.

Faith

2010-12-12T04:41:00.001-08:00

Hebrews 11:1 Faith

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly ~~ Patrick Overton

Santa Clause Is Coming To Town

2010-12-05T08:54:00.001-08:00

Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Graduation

2010-12-04T03:29:00.000-08:00

Well guys, I am getting ready to write up something for my baby girl...

she graduates in less than 2 weeks from College...and is so blessed to have already found a job... or it found her...She will live in Atlanta Ga... still an hour away from home!!

she has a Bachelors Degree in Business and Finance...and let me tell you she reconcils her checking account to the ninth degree...

soooooo, if I act a little emotional the next few weeks....you will know...

love to you all

RSVP

2010-12-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (New International Version)
"The one who calls you ..."

Recently I found out that a group of friends all went to an event. I was not invited. I felt my heart twinge with sadness.

I am glad to know that all of us are called by Him for the most beautiful event of our life--Eternity.

RSVP...

Merry Christmas....

2010-11-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

christmastake2 - how to create a free slideshow

Take a Tour of Our Home...Merry Christmas Jesus

Lead Me

2010-11-21T12:59:00.001-08:00

May you lead me...as a man of God... one more of my many Thanks Given's...

God Bless...

Happy Thanks Given

2010-11-20T05:26:00.000-08:00

Thanks Given to God for the gift of my family...

and the memories of my past...

those close to my heart...

The Story of Jonah

2010-11-19T03:14:00.000-08:00

The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Letting Go

2010-11-13T17:09:00.000-08:00

To let go…

When I worked for Hospice, letting go was a sign that the end was drawing near. My dad was proud of the beautiful things he had acquired throughout his life; however, at the end of his life it was no longer important to him. What was important to him was letting my sister, my mom and I know how much we were loved. In his last days, he gave us a deep and hidden treasure. That would be his last earthly possession he held onto, for he even let go of us for now.

The old joke of the man that dies and takes a block of gold with him only to be greeted by St. Peter who in turns says, “Here’s another one with a piece of roadway.” This is painfully true for some of us but in our final hours, this will no longer hold true. We will by this time only carry our loved ones.

I have worked hard during my lifetime to acquire the finer things in life. But I have come to realize through my maturity, time with dying patients and in the course of my spiritual walk that these things do not and will not matter when my time comes to go Home. I know what matters are the people in my life from the past, present and the future.

Just like the mother who thought her child had been killed while serving in war, only to find out he was indeed alive. She only desired to see her son. She did not care about a road made of gold, pearly gates or tall mansions but only the feeling as she embraced her child. She has learned the meaning of peace, joy and love.

One day, we will give up all we have for the One that gave up all He had so that we will have all we ever could imagine.

Chiaha Fair

2010-11-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

Our recent trip to our annual Chiaha Fair

lookin' good... we had a great time

Chyenne and Hogan had their caricature done again... love it

The Extraordinary

2010-10-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

"Drop the idea of being Extraordinary! It's keeping you mediocre. To be Ordinary is the most extraordinary thing in the world. The Ordinary person has light in his eyes; he has become extraordinary but he has no idea of it." Osha

Happy Halloween

2010-10-29T19:20:00.001-07:00

wishing you all a Happy Halloween....

Update on Hogan

2010-10-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on my son... he is doing great... for those of you that don't know, he had a FOOTBALL injury about a week ago... and had to have surgery. Knee reconstruction...

But you will be proud to know, I was calm... I didn't go running out on the field like I have always threatened to do... UNTIL I was given permission by my husband. (Smile) ... Then I was out of the stands and on the sideline in a split second. I felt like I was in the "on your mark, get set, go" stance.

Something about being a mom told me he was glad I was there, although he would never admit it.

(just happened to have my camera!)

Now 6 weeks on crutches and a long rehab, the doc says he might be able to play next year. (Like I care)

Happy Birthday Dad

2010-10-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday ---71 years...
hard to believe you have been gone for almost 3 years.

Dad... May your day in Heaven be wonderful... We will celebrate your life here today as we remember how special you were to us... and how much you remain in our life through your memories...

btw... your flowers are blooming today...

To Sir--with love---your little girl.

Pierced for Life

2010-10-01T06:05:00.001-07:00

Each culture, generation and such---claim to fame "body piercing" as their lifestyle to acceptance and status...

when really, it was Christ!

The Ultimate Declaration...

"But He was pierced for our transgressions... " Isaiah 53:5

Christ was Pierced For Life--ours!

No Lima Beans Here

2010-09-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

No Lima Beans in Here…

Veggie Soup—Mine

The first time I made this someone asked where the lima beans were… Well, you ain’t gonna find them in my soup… Just ask my parents… I will go to any means to not eat those little creatures…

Soup, especially vegetable soup should consist of veggies you like anyway-- And the simpler the better. There is such thing as too much of a good thing. Pick a few of your favorite veggies.

Fresh or frozen—NO canned stuff unless it's home canned; well ok the tomatoes are a go.

And men, this doesn’t call for beer and hooters sauce. Yes, I did say favorite but if you are serving the ladies, come on.

So here we go:

Veggie Soup minus the Lima Beans
(Did I mention I don’t really measure?)

Lean ground turkey (hmmm guess it's not veggie soup any longer)
Beef broth – couple large containers
Diced tomatoes- several large cans
Rotele tomatoes – 2 cans
Red potatoes – diced
White shoe peg corn
Italian green beans
Mushrooms
Onion
Jalapeño pepper

Cook your meat and onions until brown – then throw it in a large pot to simmer with the rest of your ingredients for several hours or the day…

wow that was easy!!

I made this pot of soup today for my husband’s secretary at her request. We are kindred spirits in many ways. So here’s to you Kelli girl.

Lost Chickens

2010-09-21T06:30:00.001-07:00

If you find my chickens... will you send them back to me..... My ADD is really acting up today...

Don't act like you didn't know I suffer from this aliment... LOL

and no comments from my husband...or close friends---!!! please.... !

yes... I know this is a duck!!!

A Jealous God

2010-09-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

(John 14:6)Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me" NLT

ps...I am a Jealous God...and My Son did not die in vain...

Strike Three

2010-08-29T06:38:00.001-07:00

Somewhere in the fleeting seconds, he had to make a quick assessment of the situation. “Now,” he wonders. Does he swing at the ball? Or should he wait? (Psalm 46:10)

The game win is on his shoulders. The last play of the game.

He chooses not to wait and it is in the moments that follow, he knows. The swing. The miss. There was a reluctance in this challenge. I saw sorrow in his follow-through as he made what would be his final attempt.

The slight pause was his downfall. The lingering regret.

“Strike three.” The crowd goes crazy.

The sting. The pain as onlookers watch.

He walks slowly away from the base. He is conquered by the opposition.

He relives this play over and over in his head in the days that ensue. “What if I had …?”

What if?

I have asked the same question. "What if I had just…?" If I could just do this over- I have often thought.

But it is in these failures, I am forced to climb off my platform of pride.

I have heard it said that sports builds character, but I think it reveals my character more than it builds it.

Someone in the game must lose that others may win.( 1 Peter 2:21-25)

And that is just what Jesus did.

Love is...

2010-08-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

I love you Hogan.... you are all grown up now...

( 1 Corinthians 13:4)"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

Love is the Son of God...

thank you for teaching us about love.

Happy Birthday Hogan

2010-08-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

To my son....
Happy Birthday

Hogan Bryant
(Named after my husbands love of golf and my father...)

Born:
August 28, 10:57pm

The first thing you did when you were born was straighten out your leg.. the same leg you tried to straighten while in my stomach...;) you still do that when you sleep...

Born with great wisdom, tremendous sensitivity and awesome love.

You have great passion for our Lord Jesus and make that known.

You are a gift to dad and I. You were given many gifts where most of us have only one...those being the most beautiful voice, musically talented, artist, athletic and scholarly. Honor it.

May God guide your path always.

we are so proud of you son...

And remember--it's always just "Over in the Meadows"

Almost there

2010-08-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm almost there... It's been almost a year of Thriving.. but I have finally reached my weight loss goal... with the help of much prayer and God....

oh,,, and exercise...

no secrets here... it's work...

but worth it.... I feel tons (less) better... ;)

The Great Pursuit

2010-08-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

He gives me the “Look” and I am gone--for my heart has melted. Enmeshed into his eyes and the love that he states…without a word. He is my lover, my earthly husband. He has sought me with a purpose and with fervor? So, I wish to submit. I want to be his.

What woman does not like to be pursued like this?

What holds me back?

The animal kingdom is so natural. The male hunts her and the female just knows this is her calling. They are brought together till the bitter end.

Our human intelligence is sometimes above our longing. I try to analysis and way out the good and the what "if's." I argue with the life as it just is—just as I was created.

The calling of God waits in our yearnings—His desires.

“Run to me, dear lover.
Come like a gazelle.
Leap like a wild stag
On the Spice Mountains.”
(Song of Songs 8:14)

And Christ came with the same look… calling us—me. I wish to submit… I so do.

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
(song of Solomon 2:10-13)

Come to Me…

His Beauty Revealed

2010-08-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

I was driving home tonight when I looked up at the sky. The Sun was heading home for another nights’ rest. But before this took place, it made one last statement. The Sun painted the sky a glorious blazing red hue unrestrained by it’s beauty.

The seduction of this heart-piercing exquisiteness was breathtaking.

I pulled my car off the road and stood outside my car so that I could savor the moment. The sky slowly began dancing to the warm brilliance that filled her senses-- and now had her swaying to the command of God’s voice. But shortly, the sky became somewhat timid, maybe even embarrassed for I noticed her tint had begun to change rapidly.

“Sigh“…As the moment passes all too soon…

Then like a blushing bride on her wedding night, the sky quickly disappears with the Sun in pursuit. The moment was sensual and yes, maybe even scandalous. For I had become a temporary voyeur to this alluring mystery.

To experience this magnificent splendor…

In the pureness of the Garden…

And in the height of the moment, His beauty revealed.

Sandpaper People

2010-08-06T06:02:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend last night and said, "I believe I have lived a" bullied-life" mentality long enough. I have pretty much let the world have its way with me. I believe (in a sick way) that I almost thrived on this life...

It seems that I have always come upon the type of people that just rub me the wrong way and threaten my foundation---Sandpaper People, I have heard it called. Thus, I never really hung around long enough to let the roughness of the situation soften my character. I was and can still be the type of person that first ignores the situation and then as things get hot, I begin to fight like heck only later to pick up and run.

I remember a College Professor telling me one day, "Connie, you cannot write and you will never make it through College." I now had something to prove.

The fight was on but never allowing the true potential to reveal its beauty in the softness of the experience.

Years later, my dad gave me a gift. He was an artist and he did a portrait of me... He drew it in a way that he saw me. He explained the drawing to me as he saw me and it brought tears to my eyes. Is that how you see me dad?

We (or I) tend to see ourselves through the eyes of life circumstances-- not as we really are through the love of the One that really matters...

Ephesians 2:10 “We are God’s workmanship"

So I am learning to let the experiences of the Sandpaper World...as it roughens my outer core, to soften me into the tenderness of His image.

Happier Than a Bug in ....

2010-08-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Some days.... I just couldn't be happier than a bug in a... well maybe just Happy.... today is one of those days...

Thank you Papa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHYENNE

2010-07-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight little girl.. I tuck you in.. I fight the monsters... I dream of dreams... and I love you from here to the moon....

HaPpY BiRtHdAy BaBy GiRl

Chyenne

born: August 4 at 7:54pm (3 weeks early) 6 lbs 8 0zs.

>(chyenne and her brother, Hogan)

Chyenne... strong, determined and filled with love...

Chyenne has overcome many adversities in her life due to circumstances beyond her control... but in several months will graduate from college with a Bachelor's degree in finance. She has secured a job in a marketing firm in their accounting department.

She is one of the smartest people I know. She is so much like my father--her granddaddy whom she adored. Organized (did I say OCD, hehe), very good with money... and wisdom beyond her years...my dad used to play tricks on her (as only they understood) by moving items in her bedroom (as this drove her OCD nature-- crazy) and then he would leave her little notes--"Granddaddy was here" ... only he could get away with this...

she has taught me so much...

May God continue to be the center of your life and enrich your journey...my sweet girl

I love you so much...

Happy Birthday sweetheart....

Another Cinderella Story

2010-07-25T03:23:00.000-07:00

I preferred most days cloudy with the occasional thunderstorms. In the background, working and doing what others asked. I did not say that I did not balk as this was my victim mentality. And this was the only way I knew how to mask my frailty—stay busy. My self-made veil covered the real me.

I am a Cinderella Story.

Hidden in a dark and dreary dungeon for most of my life by life’s circumstances and then by choice, I was called many years ago by my Prince. “Have you no daughters?” cried Abba.

Slowly with hesitation, I walked forward. With my face bowed, my shame prevailed—but I came as called. Abba stood before me and took my tender-broken heart. He wrapped His hands around it. My heart fit perfectly in His palms. I looked up and saw His eyes. “This is her, the one I have come for--she is My bride and I have come to take her Home,” cried Jesus. The raging war that had been there imploded. Something supernatural happened. Soon, there was a crescendo of passion; the music of His love began to swell until there was a climax of peace.

He lifted my veil… The pureness, the sacredness of the moment would be forever reminding of the vulnerability of this life—my life.

I now know that my most perfect days may end in rain...

Those are now some of my best days wrapped in the arms of my Bridegroom... for the Marriage has come.

He Died For Us

2010-07-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

As the mom of these two beautiful children....

I would DIE for them....

That is what GOD did for us...1 Corinthians 15:3,4

I really get it!!!

Who Is The Author Of Your Life?

2010-07-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

Recently, I sat down to watch a movie with my family late into the plot. I kept asking my family what was going on. To my daughter’s frustration she tried to tell me. “Who loves who, I asked? Are they together now?” But I never quite grasped what was going on. I could tell it was a beautiful love story--A man and a woman sharing their heart, their soul and their sorrows too. I just couldn’t figure out the true picture as how their love came to be from some tragic event that had occurred.

Life is like that, we find ourselves in the midst of a love story but not sure who the characters are or how we got there. We are confused. We ask others for their input and sometimes we don’t. Even so, those around us define the very nature of our life and yes even the most intimate details of a deep place within our soul, within our hearts. Our life has been defined since we were born by parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and enemies.

We let others shape our life story. Truly our life's experiences of our own interpretation anyway.

When do we become the Co-author of our life? When do we begin to let God write on our hearts the most sacred meaning of who we are?

For it was His Son that traded His Heavenly Home for a Wooden Cross so that we could know love in the most intimate way. (John 3:16)

wE aRe ThE ChUrCh

2010-07-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

THE CHURCH HAS LEFT THE BUILDING...

It Is Finished

2010-07-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

(JOHN 19:30)"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."

So why do I keep trying?

Happily Ever After

2010-07-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time…..

The End….

And somewhere in there is a Happily Ever After?

Well, if our life was that uneventful… what would we say or feel each day? But, isn’t that what we want? To live life on our terms? Our prayers to Papa what do they sound like? I have asked for boring...long enough to catch my breath.

I have heard many say, me included, if I could just live on the mountain top with Jesus… always. But then how would I learn? If I was happy and never encountering any sorrow, how would I appreciate the happy?

I heard the words so many years ago; I would never have children. I lived with that heartache as a barren woman. So you must know that when I learned I was pregnant, my joy was beyond the mountain top. My children are more than precious to me; they are God’s greatest gifts.

Life on the mountain top…

Walk on the shores of the beach; maybe, just maybe touch our toes to the water—Afraid to go into the waters? Deep into the waters where we can immerse ourselves in the warm water and let the Sun beat down on us --warming everything within us. The contrast…is ecstasy-- If we choose.

Life on the mountain top…

We walk out of Church. It was a heavenly worship. We feel good. Never let this feeling end. Someone cuts us off in traffic and we are back in the Valley.

Life is a series of Mountain Top moments and Valley experiences.

One thing I have learned, I learn more in the Valley and I am healed on the Mountain top—where my Jesus is with me --in both places.

Always

And this is where our Happy Ever After awaits us.

I Painted it Just For You...

2010-07-04T06:08:00.001-07:00

we are back from vacation....

thought I'd share one evening after we were hit with a tornado.. the peace.. after the storm...

a beautiful sunset...

God saying, "I painted it for you."

Happy Father's Day 2010

2010-06-19T16:01:00.001-07:00

To My Dad

Dear Jesus,

Will you please give this letter to my Dad…

I want to thank him on this beautiful Father’s Day….for chosing me to be his daughter. And out of all the little girls in the world, he chose to give life to my sister and I.

So this year, I would please ask that you tell him thank you for these things and the million other ones I will forget.

When I was four years-old, Dad, you came to the hospital to visit me (this was the era where parents couldn’t stay with their children), and you had spent your lunch money to buy me a gift. You and I played for as long as they would let you stay. We played with the little army men you bought your little girl. They were treasures to me for I was born on a military base and this is something we often did. You and I had a special appreciation and love for planes.

So thank you for the nights we drove to the airport and watched the "Big" planes land and take off. How exhilirating it was. It was not suprise then that you would later become a pilot and I your co-pilot! So thank you for letting me fly your plane but loving me enough to respect it’s dangers. And my little sis just slept away in the back.

Thank you for all the nights you sat by my bed because I was too frightened to go to sleep. You always waited til I was secure and in happy dreamland.

Thank you for all the wonderful “dinners” of cheese eggs and cheese hotdogs. No one comes close to making them like you do.

Thank you for all the trips to Krispy kreme and then to the Key Largo to fish and snorkel.

Thank you for helping me become the best fisher girl. To love the ocean and respect it’s sacredness. Thank you for teaching me to drive a boat and not fall out.

Thank you for not making me ever eat baked beans (again) after I returned them to you the first time you tried.

Thank you for telling me about “boys”.

Thank you for being young and handsome and making all my girlfriends jealous.

Most of all, thank you for helping to encourage my dreams no matter how big.

I was always your little girl, even as you took your last breathe, you reminded Lynn and I of this with these very words, “You will always be my little girls, take care of each other. I love you and always will.”

Thank you for loving me, for loving us.

Happy Father’s Day… as you sit next to our Heavenly Father….God Almighty.

As your life bestowed life...

To My Husband

And I wish for my husband, the father of my children God's Blessings... as he teaches our children wisdom and knowledge, kindness and love.

Life is short, we are but a vapor (James 4:14)... I am so proud of how you have provided for our family.

Thank you for receiving your son into the kingdom of God through Baptism.. And me, your wife. I will always cherish this memory.

Thank you for your never ending support and unconditional love.

And at times, the prodigal father, friend and disciple that stands at the road and waits. Never giving up.

Happy Father's Day to you, Brad.

The Face In The Crowd

2010-06-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd steer you over to HerBrokenWing today....

blessings... be back on Saturday for a tribute to my dad...

As My Garden Grows

2010-06-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 13:10 “Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other’s counsel…”

Many years ago, an elderly woman shared heart-felt and treasured words of wisdom with me. At the time, I did not appreciate these words. As with most young people I thought, "what did she know or I wished she would stop always ~~lecturing~~ telling me what to do. "

What I would do to have just one minute with this woman. She was my sweet grandmother and her words ring in my ear every day now. They are like gold nuggets precious and pure. She has really been on my mind lately. I must be going crazy; for recently I thought I smelled her perfume. She had the sweetest smell. She always smelled like flowers.

The circle of life—I have “tried” to pass on these golden nuggets to my own children. But I get the same eye roll and look as if I haven’t a clue (and that I gave to my own grandmother). But my insides smile because I know in due time, they will come to life-- Just as the words did for me.

Just the other day, my son shared with a friend something I told him as a little boy. It warmed my heart. I guess that is a mother’s job to pass things on to their children even when we know they are not quite ready. We are sewers of love, wisdom and knowledge. Those on our child's journey will harvest the rewards. We may or may not taste the fruits.

For now, I will watch and water my little garden.

As my garden grows.

Hogan's First Dance

2010-06-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of the family as we took Hogan to his first dance... it was a family affair......

Our kids have really grown.. Chyenne is graduating from college in one semester... with a finance degree and has a job.. Praise God...

and Hogan starts High School this year.... WOW... where did the time go... we are proud parents.... great kids....

Like Father Like Son... Neither like having their pictures made!!!!!

but they love their momma so they do it...;0

blessings

Summer Gifts

2010-06-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

When we "Let go".... it free's our hands to the gifts of God....

Raise your hands up and sing...

Choosing The Tree of Life

2010-06-06T06:25:00.000-07:00

Here are six things God hates,
and one more that he loathes with a passion:
eyes that are arrogant,
a tongue that lies,
hands that murder the innocent,
a heart that hatches evil plots,
feet that race down a wicked track,
a mouth that lies under oath,
a troublemaker in the family. (Psalm 6:16-19)

We all have family and friends that complain, complain and complain some more. They might be the troublemaker of the family. They lie through their teeth. Guess what, we may be that person--never happy.

Why do we do this?

Not because we are evil (most of the time—there are a few exceptions) but because we are frightened, lonely and feeling unloved.

Have you ever sat across from a friend or family member and have that person whine constantly about how “someone” made their life miserable? It always has to be someone else’s fault. NO ONE can make you anything!!! It astounds me how people can place total blame of a situation on someone else. In doing so, this takes away our choice in the matter. God gave us a choice in all circumstances. (Adam and Eve had a choice although one was fruitful and one was not)

We live in the victim role meeting a need we long for. But people grow weary of this; most people are drawn to others with a positive outlook on life. Notice how we gravitate towards happy-giving people. Notice how we avoid the unhappy.

Recently, I went through a very difficult situation. I had someone bring it to my attention, like I wasn’t already aware. I had already chose a road to travel--it was to be honest with those involved. I don't believe you have to stand at the top of a building and announce your dirty laundry to the world...But I am very forthcoming in my situation. The only area I may not be is where it will affect my family. But if it involves only me, I am honest to a fault.

In doing so, I have learned. Trust is not earned, it is a gift. I will open up doors for others to love and accept me because I am less than perfect.

I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I can say I have made many. If you choose to love me where I am, that is wonderful. If you don’t, then one of two things-- You are dealing with your own issues or you were never my friend to begin with. I can live with that.

It is important we surround ourselves with loving caring people. Do not allow the critical unloving people in our life. Family, friends it does not matter. They will hurt us and take us down. We are in a very vulnerable place and we need to grow strong.

LET GO.

I no longer feel like a hypocrite when I grace the doors of church but know I am a sinner saved by Jesus Christ. “For I came to save the sick.” (Mark 2:17)

"Faith is a decision you make to tell the Truth about yourself when you're uncertain about what might happen." Book Real Love

What Would People Think?

2010-06-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

Psalm 139:17 "How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God."

I don't know where I got the impression I was supposed to be perfect. Maybe I heard it from a parent of a friend, "Look at her, she won't amount to much."

I don't know. Maybe it is what society expects.

Whatever the reason(s), somewhere during my years of growing up I made a vow-a stronghold. I decided I would always strive to do my very best from that day forward. Throughout my school years, I tried to make all A's. If I made a D on a paper say in chemistry (which I did) but ended up with an overall A for the class, I would still stress over the D.

What would people think?

Later on in my life, I became a mom. I was now conditioned to living the perfectionist life of living up to the expectations of others. Thus, I wanted the perfect little children in the perfect little home with the dog and cat and the white picket fence. My children would also need to have the best manners, "Please and thank you."

After all, what would people think?

I remember my own daughter when she was 4 years-old. I had taken her trick-o-treating. I had stressed how important it was to use her manners. That night, she ran her little legs as fast as she could to me yelling across the yard--her candy bag flying in the air, "Momma, Momma, I said my good manners." The homeowner laughing and quite proud of this supergenius child. Of course, I was proud-- Glowing or was I gloating? But why? Did it really make her a better person? Did she even understand? Or did it make me a better person?

What would people think?

She knew she made her momma happy. I was programming her to care what people think.

Don't get me wrong. I think kids should be taught right from wrong. I know plenty of kids these days that are not being taught any manners and are growing up without any type of boundaries.

But one day, something just clicked. I let my kids go. I was no longer worried about what others thought. I had guided them the best I could, the rest was in the hands of God. My job was to pray.

They are now on their own journey and if they fall, I will be right there to pray with them not to fix them.

If they fall?....What will people think?

It doesn't matter, it is between God and my children.

I am only a knot in the strand of their life....woven by love

The Dog Did It

2010-06-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

Today, my cat and I had a long summer nap.. and boy was it nice... but when I got up.. this was the look I got...

too funny.. so I reached over and grabbed my phone...

gotta love this modern technology

The Storm Dancer

2010-05-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

Luke 8:25 "...the storm subsided, and all was calm..."

These past years have been one of great learning. I continue to weather the storms of my life and dance in the reminiscence of the puddles left behind.

I have learned who is to remain on my journey with me. I will meet many people along the way--family, friends and mere acquaintances...the day will come when we are to move on in our journey with and without these people. But all were and are vital to my life and who I am to become. A season for all things... (Eccles)....and we will one day be together again.

So, my blogging-world friends, I have created an award called...

THE STORM DANCER

Storms.

Storms of life.

These storms can cause devastating consequences. Many of these storms are of our own making. Intensity rules and angers flare. After the thunder, there is rain. I see the torrential downpours. And as the rain begins to fade, the sweet-scented smell of rain fill my senses. I can smell the rain. Time passes and surpasses my understanding of what has been and what is to be. Soon, the rain trickles as if playing to the tune of Mozart and I am mesmerized by its tranquilizing effect. I hear the Song that my Heavenly Father is singing to me.

My senses are alive. I can feel.

I breathe—slowly.

I awaken—soon thereafter to a silent world around me after the rain has long stopped. It would take some time before I really would grasp all of the unfolding events of the storm.

The person I had been had died, she had left during the storm—tragically. The death of self was an explosive aftermath. The realization of truth was as explosive as a volcanic eruption from a Volcano that had slept for thousands of years. The pressure was phenomenal.

Good,

Bad,

And just indifferent at times.

Mindful—from a long rainy night, I mused over the details.

I prayed.

Morning came and the Sun peeked in through the window. It was timid and reluctant to reveal itself to me as if one more change might cease my beating heart.

The pain was gone—not that I was ok with my life’s happenings but it was better than it had been in a very long time. I was free. I could breathe.

Would I become another Storm Dancer? Will I rejoice in this new birth?

I will dance in the reminiscence of the storm.

I will become the Storm Dancer.

…for I am His beloved child.

I would like to award the following bloggers this award:

Denise from Shortybears Place - it never fails that she uplifts me with kind words every day...Thank you Denise

Ivey's mom Gwen- for reminding me to look at the world with different eyes. For seeing gratitude in the attitude. For life.

Technonana- for her wisdom and praise...

Melli - keeping laughter in my life

Karin - Yesterday, today and tomorrow--- you have no idea the impact of these words

Julie -She and I have been on a journey with Papa, shedding our flesh... thanks Julie...for your support

Nancy - I know if I ask her to pray, she's there...

Deb- one day she and I will ride free...

Sandy - one can never have too many flip flops.. that would include my friend

Susan - not only do I consider her a friend and a prayer warrior, but she taught me how to dive for scallops

Tracy - For her cup runneth over to mine

Grams - you have also taught me an unconditional love...through your love for Nancy

Mari - Keeping the spark and excitement in life

and last but not least...

Denise the Samaritan Woman - you teach me daily about God's love

What I would "Like" for you to do: (after all, it is now yours):

1. Write your own Storm Dancer story. I shared my story with you above.

2. Grab the award code above and put it in your Storm Dancer story post and/or sidebar. You have earned it! Click here if you need help.

3. Pass this award onto whomever... no limit. If you receive the award but are the type of person that isn't into writing and sending out awards…don't worry, just wear it proudly or do as you wish.

I am sure I have forgotten someone... so I am going to send out this award again at another time... but for now, please know how much you have meant to me and my walk in the Lord...

God Bless you on your journey.... one day at a time...

Blog Award in the Making!

2010-05-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

First winners to be announced Monday May 31 OR SOONER

I owe so many of you great gratitude for your ongoing support this past year.

This year has been a rather trying year (yet, again)... but...I have learned a lot about myself (finally)... I have learned that Life isn't about finding myself as much as I need to create myself...

All the while, I have been a passenger to my own life. Waiting. And then wondered why I wasn't getting to my destination......... (to be con't)

Once more I want to take the time to thank each of you for standing by me through these years. You have been a great source of strength.

So, in honor of some of you...I'm working on a design for a special award to be given out within the next few weeks.

For some of you, I pray that you have and will be visiting with heartfelt intentions that will remain pure ...as you stop by... For this is about the Lord Christ and my daily ramblings. There will be times, I need to protect my families anonymity. (If you look to catch me up in what I say... you will...I am not perfect nor do I pretend to be. I fell about 2000 years ago...)

I'm on the same journey...as you.

And trust this:

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

2010-05-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Follow up from yesterday, is this what we have become?.....and believe me I"m NOT usually this radical in posting stuff like this...

Where are we in this world?

Would I make a video like this? Absolutely not...

This is not for the faint... nor is it for the children... for they are already in the Kingdom of God..

Have I lost my mind... yes... Long ago... It's Gods?

Christians.... Rest

we are Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

Not that I endorse this... Only God knows when the world will end... but our days our numbered before our last curtain call....

Are you Ready?

I'm sorry I had to take this video off, it was creeping me out.. but here is the website....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELea3hrjdow

Last Call

2010-05-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

Plane crash in India kills more than 160, official says

'Science Guy' rates your oil spill ideas

Experts testify on grim ecological fallout from Gulf oil spill

Pakistanis arrest man in connection with Times Square case

Priest in Brazil accused of having 'erotic dungeon'

EarthQuake Kills thousands--

Mother kills her young...

RELIGION

POLITICS

DESTRUCTION--NATURAL AND MAN-MADE

WHEN WILL IT END...?

TIC-TOC....TIC-TOC...

AND THEN THERE WAS SILENCE... ALL THIS CRAP WE WORRIED OVER WILL MEAN NOTHING. THE ONLY THING IMPORTANT AT THIS POINT---

DID YOU LOVE ME? (John 21:17)

TICk- TOCk, TICk- TOCk, TICk- TOCk...

The Train Ride

2010-05-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

by Steve Pilotte:
(paraphrased)

We are born and we then aboard the train of life. It is then we meet who we think will be with us the entire journey. Those people are our parents.

Sadly, this is far from the truth!

Our parents are with us as far as we absolutely need them. They too have journey's they must complete-- we then must live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their occasional stops--forever.

Others will now come and will be important to us --Brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances whom we will learn to love and cherish.

Others we will encounter will share the many upsets, tears, and losses on this journey. And others may linger around to help out. Some will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some come and go so quickly, you barely notice you ever crossed paths.

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers who we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there's nothing that says we can't seek them out.

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat maybe taken.

That's OK.

Everyone's journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and good byes. We must strive to make the best of it---no matter what.

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone. Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and need our help.

We too vacillate and hesitate, even trip... hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don't know when our last stop will come.

Personally, I know I'll be sad to make my final stop....I'm sure of it.

My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the Train Ride will be painful. Leaving all those I'm close to will be a sad thing too. But then again, I'm certain that one day I'll get to the Main Station. There I will meet all those I've met along the way on the Train Ride. They will be carrying their luggage. All shapes, sizes, weights, colors, some will have more than others but one thing is for sure, each person will have their own luggage.

I will be glad to see you. And yes, that I helped contribute to your baggage and helped enriched your life even if in just a small way, just as you have contributed to my life and enriched my life.

We are all on this journey together, the same train, so why not make the ride a good one. I would like to make it as memorable as possible right up to the final stop!

God Bless

For God so...

2010-05-17T17:45:00.000-07:00

FoR GoD sO LoVeD tHe WoRlD ...hE gAvE HiS oNlY sOn... jEsUs...(John 3:16)

Proud Moment

2010-05-10T19:19:00.001-07:00

This time of year is always exciting. We are wrapping up the end of another school year. This year is no different in its' moment of bittersweetness.

For Chyenne, she is drawing close to graduating from College. This December she will have completed her full tenure of her college life. She has worked hard and I could not be more proud of her. Her major is in finance. What a perfect major, God knew. She is ~~a major tightwad~~ frugal with her money.

As for Hogan, he has wrapped up his time in middle school making straight A's. (Is that the best you can do dear son?) He secured many awards over the past several evenings. He was recommended by his teachers to take all college level classes for high school. He is going to be in Chorus, second year Spanish and against my wishes---yes, football!

Let me just say, I am glad I took these pictures posted on this blog -- this past weekend. Today when I picked him up, his face looked like he had ran into a transfer truck.

I can see that the next years are not going to be very nice to Hogan on the football field. I can see the local news headlines now, "Nurse Mom runs on field during injury embarrassing son to his final death." My son and husband have warned me in great detail the great harm I would cause by even thinking of attempting to come on the field if my son goes down. I tried to explain that no one knows as much as I do, of course I have to come out there. My son gives me the ultimate eye roll.

So I am now thinking I just won't bring it back up, just do it and say, "Oops, I forgot." Don't you ladies think I could get away with that?? I can pray for forgiveness later. And we all need our share of counseling at some point.

Back to the topic. I'm so proud of my children. And how together they are (for now).

Seriously, I am very blessed. God has granted me with some beautiful children...

Thank you God.,...

A Mother's Wish

2010-05-09T20:20:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day is always full of surprises....since the first mother's day I found out I was pregnant I have been overwhelmed with emotion.

I would be less than honest if I didn't say I selfishly and secretly come to expect my little family at home to stop and worship me...OK.. if I am alone in this belief, maybe I need some serious counseling...but I do feel this way.

The very first year I discovered I was pregnant, my now ex-husband (key word "ex") crushed my world. Mother's Day came and anxiously I awaited my first mother's day gift. Time passed and I thought maybe just a card. But I soon realized there was no card, nothing. I thought here I am carrying his baby and he doesn't appreciate that I am going to be a mom to his baby. I can't begin to tell you the heartache. When I finally got around to asking him why he didn't remember me, he told me that I was not his momma. "But I..." and my lip quivered too much to continue so I never could quite got those words out of my mouth that year.

Years have come and gone. Since then, my children have taken wonderful care of me. Thank God for teachers. They bring home the most beautiful hand made gifts. Gifts that will bring any momma to tears. Little fingers and hands made into animals. I have wonderful colorful vases that are holding flowers from our garden.

As my children have gotten older, their choices are more unique and take us back to a special memory. I always hold onto a special something from that gift. But the best gift is time. Crawling up in bed and holding onto each other is something I will always cherish. The smell of their hair. The love.

Just one more day. God gave me time with my children. A Mother's wish.

Mother's Day Wish 2010

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-07T20:20:00.000-07:00

Chyenne (now 22) & Hogan (now 14)
Whitney is married / 2 boys (4,1)

The day you were born, I too was born. I was born into motherhood. I did not take a class on how to be a mom. I did not receive a diploma. No one taught me. I had never even changed a diaper before you were born except in nursing school and that was a disaster. I vividly remember the day you came into the world all purple, red and screaming at the top of your little lungs. I know the first time you look at your newborn baby, you instantly fall in love with him/her and really-- I did. But …I thought, good Lord, what is this thing? I mean she had a smashed up face from her journey down the birth canal. I remember thinking she looked like a frog. Before you turn me into DFACS…I love her dearly.

I should have had a clue then by her grand entrance on how her life would turn out. She came into the world three weeks early –sideways-- not to mention the two hour long pushing causing the doctors quite difficulty in getting her out. And life has pretty much been like that since. When she was three, she told me she was headed to New York to live. I did ask her to wait a few years. And she did! Now that she is an adult, the dream of big city living has been fulfilled. She is very content.

How we become a mother is not always how we expect. I became a mother two more times. Twice in one year. After remarrying, I became the proud mother of my step-daughter some years older than my own daughter. As with any child, there were and still are many challenges. Blended families are just like that. You can polish them up but there will always be underlying emotions. It is the nature of the beast and consequences of the actions. Usually, the stepparent catches the ugliness of the pain. But I do occasionally get to experience joy and I am honored to be her mom.

Is it different raising her? Yes, I wished I could say no…and I have worked very hard to make it the same but children sometimes will not allow you into their world where they feel obligated to protect their parents. They do not want to feel as if they are being disloyal to their mom. I have been in her shoes as a child. I know the emotions. I have learned to take the back seat and be fine with it. One day she will realize that I love her.

A year after I became a step-mom, my daughters became sisters to a baby brother. He has been a tremendous joy and gift in my life. I just look at him and I’m amazed at God’s grace and mercy. He has always been by our side. Only until the past year has he ever been away from us. We saw how fast the girls grew. He is a strong and secure young man. He comes to me occasional for an emotional recharge but most of the time now; he’s got it figured out now.

I was blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a mom. I look around this world today and so many mother's take being a mom for granted, maybe because I had such a hard time conceiving my daughter, I will never forget the heartache. I cringe today when young moms are too busy for their own children, always looking for someone else to “watch” them or consider their child a burden. I see more and more grandparents, aunts and uncles raising children instead of the child’s parents. If only the mother knew how fast their young child grew and how little time they have, maybe they would cherish each moment.

Just ask a mother that never was.

Or a mother that no longer is.

A mother that has a child with tremendous needs.

And we take for granted the simple pleasures of raising our babies?

This is by far one of the most special day's God has ever granted me.

And to my mother's (you see I have blessed to have a mother and step-mom who love me dearly)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Whitney --March 16

Chyenne--born August 4

Hogan-- born August 28

God-- Let It Rain

2010-05-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

Friends...blogger s and non-blogger s....I cannot begin to tell you how much your words have encouraged me... and the fact that through you... God has given me a beautiful pearl...Pearls of Wisdom.. which I have never quite understood personally before now...

Yes, my disappoint is God's appointment as Karin said... and the others... talking about God's plan... you are so right.. but I needed to be reminded of it... I lost sight... so thank you... Melli, Julie, Denise, Tracy and Nancy....and others...ya know who you are...

When I was young, my dad and I would walk side by side, and he would say, 'If you don't slow down, you'll never catch a man." I would rebuttal with, "Dad, I'll just marry someone with long legs."

And I did...

But the sad thing ... I have always walked ahead of God... in every situation... and it ~~got~~ gets me in more trouble!

I also loved what Karin wrote,,, If you don't get rained on, you can't grow...

So God bring on the rain...And let me play in the puddles

The Last Tear

2010-04-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

The GRE test is over.... and I did not do as well as I would have liked... in other words, I did not score high enough this round to get into the school I chose...

All the way home from the test, I cried... I felt humiliated and defeated. I had tried so hard. I spent so many hours applying myself. I felt that should have accounted for something. I also prayed earnestly so that too should have sealed the deal. But God doesn't work that way. And my head knows that.

For His ways are not our ways...Isaiah 55:8

I know these words well but at the time, I was just down right angry. I let God know it too. I had a full blown temper tantrum as I drove home. For one hour as a grown women, I yelled at God. I'm sure those driving next to me thought I had lost my mind. And I am sure they were not too far from the truth.

As I cried out the last tear, called myself stupid for the last time, I finally reached out for one more scripture...one close to my heart-- Jeremiah 29:11... This verse has saved me over the past few months. It has been my mantra so-to-speak.

I know the plans I have for you, Connie...my sweet child

I will prosper you...

I do not wish you harm...

And as my tears subsided...I crawled down from His lap...

and now I wait...

The Big Day

2010-04-25T17:53:00.001-07:00

The count down has begun... My Grad exam is in 4 days from now....

Did I mention anything about being nervous or feeling like I need to puke... Yes.. I feel that way...

I D.E.S.P.E.R.A.T.E.L.Y need YOUR prayers too

First-- to pass the test... hey, I could handle a little up chuckin for this!!

Second-- pray for peace

Third-- Discernment... and peace... in God's will

and peace... and peace... and peace...

If nothing more, I have learned a lot over the past 5 weeks, cramming for this exam...

It will be several weeks before I know the results... but I don't know if I'll tell ya if it's bad, so just figure out,,, no news ain't good... ;)

Sabine River

2010-04-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

We have some friends visiting in Austria... they took this picture while by the Sabine River...

Now I am thinking sausage, potatoes and corn and I would be set for life.....

On the the flip side... if I fell in these waters, I would be scarred for life...

Prayer Request

2010-04-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

(my son helping us pray)

I have a prayer request... My dear friends...

I am taking an exam next week... it is the GRE It is the Graduate School Entrance exam... I am hoping to go back to school in the fall to Nurse Practitioner School ...but have to take this test first and anyone that has taken it.. knows it is a bear...

I have been in the books day and night for weeks and weeks..

so my test is April 29th... please pray for me...hey... let's go big....to make the grade.. do great or just anything...but fail

thanks so much guys.. I love you

My House

2010-04-20T05:11:00.001-07:00

This is actually my house during our recent snow... I just can't help myself with the picnik program.

have a supernatural day....

Fight Abortion

2010-04-16T20:01:00.001-07:00

Gianna Jessen from LMF CAM on Vimeo.

Just B Natural

2010-04-16T05:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my son's feet... how fun... and his saxophone.....

I am having fun with a free picture program..that allows you to do just about anything.. kind of weird...

just beware of one thing.... it is addicting!

Happy Birthday Brad

2010-04-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

And yes, he has been known to wear other things on his head... but I try to keep my blog clean so I won't go there....

This is my husband. Brad... I love him with all my heart.. Today is his birthday...

Today, I want to thank God for him...

I want to thank God that He thought enough of me to send Brad to me...

I want to thank God for sending me a man that would love me with an unconditional love

I want to thank God for sending me a man that would love me in sickness and in health and really mean it.

I thank God that when the tough gets tougher, Brad stinks around...

I thank God for a husband that loves me enough that he gave me a son and two daughters but I thank God even more as I watch my husband pour out his love to our children.

I thank Brad that he follows God's calling (most of the time)

I thank God for his financial support and picking up the slack well.... let's say --when I put us in the red....

God... thank you.... for this man....I call my husband.... my beloved journey partner...

Brad, Happy Birthday... I love you

Squeakatoon

2010-04-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

This is an actual picture of my cat, Squeak....I have a computer program that will turn pictures into cartoon characters... now... how cool is that!!!

I am enjoying life way too much.... nah....

The Broken Shell Collector

2010-04-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

I finally finished my first devotional book and it turned out great...(sorry for the glare)

now if I could find someone that could print these at a reasonable price?? I could sell them and send the money to charity...

anybody have any suggestions??

this book is dedicated to my dad, Bryant Franklin...

Meet My Grandson, Ira

2010-04-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

Was this not a great way to spend a day with my sweet grandson, Ira

and ain't technology grand....

love it!!

Love you God....

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T19:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter to my family... as you can tell the easter egg hunt is a huge event.

This year the winner of the prize egg goes to...... Chyenne...

and it was ugly..

see what I mean?

Happy Easter

2010-04-02T14:18:00.001-07:00

HaPpY EaStEr

New Look

2010-03-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Over the next several weeks, I am going to be "Under Construction"... redoing my blog site in about a week.... so stay tuned!!!

But don't forget to visit my friends blog - Her Broken Wing... she really appreciates the feedback and is still trying to figure out how to respond... she's new to the blog world and said she is doing good to get it posted!!

thanks and see ya soon

A New Blog

2010-03-14T17:26:00.001-07:00

This is a friend of mine.... Thought you might like to read.. and / or follow... she lives a ways from me but I have stayed close through the years... she is a great person...

She has started a new blog named Her Broken Wing

She could use your prayers as well...

The Choice by Max Lucado

2010-03-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

"Perhaps it was the wind who said it first"

He placed one scoop of clay upon another until a form lay lifeless on the ground.

All of the Garden’s inhabitants paused to witness the event. Hawks hovered. Giraffes stretched. Trees bowed. Butterflies paused on petals and watched.

“You will love me, nature,” God said. “I made you that way. You will obey me, universe. For you were designed to do so. You will reflect my glory, skies, for that is how you were created. But this one will be like me. This one will be able to choose.”

All were silent as the Creator reached into himself and removed something yet unseen. A seed. “It’s called ‘choice.’ The seed of choice.”

Creation stood in silence and gazed upon the lifeless form.

An angel spoke, “But what if he … ”

“What if he chooses not to love?” the Creator finished. “Come, I will show you.”

Unbound by today, God and the angel walked into the realm of tomorrow.

“There, see the fruit of the seed of choice, both the sweet and the bitter.”

The angel gasped at what he saw. Spontaneous love. Voluntary devotion. Chosen tenderness. Never had he seen anything like these. He felt the love of the Adams. He heard the joy of Eve and her daughters. He saw the food and the burdens shared. He absorbed the kindness and marveled at the warmth.

“Heaven has never seen such beauty, my Lord. Truly, this is your greatest creation.”

“Ah, but you’ve only seen the sweet. Now witness the bitter.”

A stench enveloped the pair. The angel turned in horror and proclaimed, “What is it?”

The Creator spoke only one word: “Selfishness.”

The angel stood speechless as they passed through centuries of repugnance. Never had he seen such filth. Rotten hearts. Ruptured promises. Forgotten loyalties. Children of the creation wandering blindly in lonely labyrinths.

“This is the result of choice?” the angel asked.
“Yes.”
“They will forget you?”
“Yes.”
“They will reject you?”
“Yes.”
“They will never come back?”
“Some will. Most won’t.”
“What will it take to make them listen?”

The Creator walked on in time, further and further into the future, until he stood by a tree. A tree that would be fashioned into a cradle. Even then he could smell the hay that would surround him.

With another step into the future, he paused before another tree. It stood alone, a stubborn ruler of a bald hill. The trunk was thick, and the wood was strong. Soon it would be cut. Soon it would be trimmed. Soon it would be mounted on the stony brow of another hill. And soon he would be hung on it.

He felt the wood rub against a back he did not yet wear.

“Will you go down there?” the angel asked.

“I will.”

“Is there no other way?”

“There is not.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to not plant the seed? Wouldn’t it be easier to not give the choice?”

“It would,” the Creator spoke slowly. “But to remove the choice is to remove the love.”

He looked around the hill and foresaw a scene. Three figures hung on three crosses. Arms spread. Heads fallen forward. They moaned with the wind.

Men clad in soldiers’ garb sat on the ground near the trio. They played games in the dirt and laughed.

Men clad in religion stood off to one side. They smiled. Arrogant, cocky. They had protected God, they thought, by killing this false one.

Women clad in sorrow huddled at the foot of the hill. Speechless. Faces tear streaked. Eyes downward. One put her arm around another and tried to lead her away. She wouldn’t leave. “I will stay,” she said softly. “I will stay.”

All heaven stood to fight. All nature rose to rescue. All eternity poised to protect. But the Creator gave no command.

“It must be done … ,” he said, and withdrew.

But as he stepped back in time, he heard the cry that he would someday scream: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34) He wrenched at tomorrow’s agony.

The angel spoke again. “It would be less painful … ”

The Creator interrupted softly. “But it wouldn’t be love.”

They stepped into the Garden again. The Maker looked earnestly at the clay creation. A monsoon of love swelled up within him. He had died for the creation before he had made him. God’s form bent over the sculptured face and breathed. Dust stirred on the lips of the new one. The chest rose, cracking the red mud. The cheeks fleshened. A finger moved. And an eye opened.

But more incredible than the moving of the flesh was the stirring of the spirit. Those who could see the unseen gasped.

Perhaps it was the wind who said it first. Perhaps what the star saw that moment is what has made it blink ever since. Maybe it was left to an angel to whisper it:

“It looks like … it appears so much like … it is him!”

The angel wasn’t speaking of the face, the features, or the body. He was looking inside—at the soul.

“It’s eternal!” gasped another.

Within the man, God had placed a divine seed. A seed of his self. The God of might had created earth’s mightiest. The Creator had created, not a creature, but another creator. And the One who had chosen to love had created one who could love in return.

Now it’s our choice.

Boys and Their Messy Rooms

2010-03-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

They (whoever they are) say that a messy (in this case) bedroom is the sign of a genius… I’m thinking that my son is well on his way to super genius and is most likely going to cure the common cold.

So I am trying to think of ways (again) to ~~beat into submission~~ assist my son into ways to help organize and keep his room clean.

OK. I’ll wait just a minute for you to quit laughing.

My husband asks why I even bother. “Why not just shut the door to his room?” And then I remind him of the few experiments that HIS son (it always becomes his child when it’s something not so cool, have you ever noticed) had formed in his room. Like milk can become solid after a few weeks. French fries under the bed could be used as nails for building homes. And then there was the once something on his plate but by the time we got to it, it had turned green and slimy.

Another thing, my definition of clean and my son's definition are two completely different definitions. So I have gone through the “Training method” where I show him how-to-clean his room and where he sits there and plays Xbox 360, nods his head affirmatively and says, “Sure mom.”

Why don’t I ever learn? I’m such a sucker.

I sometimes think I could write a book on 1000 ways underwear can be used as a decorating tip. Oh, you would be amazed the places I have found them. But if you have boys, you already know, don’t you? If you don't, then just spare yourself the pain.

My son has always wanted a hamster or gerbil thing… those hairy little creatures… But I told him why; he has millions of little dust mites as pets. He just gave me that look, huh? Sure, let’s name them. So I started to explain what they were made of… (Thinking this will get him, sure bet. I’ll have him scrubbing the floors on his hands and knees)… so just as I think I have him ~~sucked~~ persuaded to my way of thinking, he says, “Really mom, cool?”

I give.

And then I have ~~one last~~ another bright idea, his cell phone. He lives and breathes it. I have found a chart system (here's the web link) and he earns points for how many days a week he gets his phone… so far so good!!

However, I haven’t looked under the bed; it may bring a whole new meaning to monsters under the bed.

Gotta go, I think I smell something coming from ... surely not...

tHe NeW nOrMaL

2010-03-08T05:43:00.001-08:00

tHe NeW nOrMaL

"The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow." (Isaiah 62:2)

A friend and I were talking this past week. It sort of went like this, "How are you doing?"

"I'm OK and you?"

and this went on for a minute or two and then we went a little deeper. "Yes, life isn't the same, is it? And it never will be."

You see, people think that after any life changing incident in our life, we will get back to our old self. We talked about how people mean well but use the old cliche's of "They are in a better place" or "You'll see them again." Where these things are true, they do not make the pain any less. And they never will. For we are forever changed.

And God does not wish us to stay in that same place. He hopes we will grow spiritually and be able to learn not just about ourselves but about others.

"New" can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. But to those going through challenges in their spiritual growth it can sometimes mean they are lonely, weary, empty, frustrated, hurting, hopeless, fearful or discouraged; "new" is not always something wonderful. And if you have ever been at this place in your life, you were at a place where it was impossible to reason with. Somewhat like a trapped hurt animal.

When this time comes (and it will) or if it has happened to someone we love, all we can really do is call on God's words, because it is really all that makes sense at this point. This is when we hold onto "My grace is enough; it's all you need." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It is during this time when the weaker we become, the brighter our light shines. The light of our Lord shines through the torn and battered places in mine and your life.... revealing His Light into a world of darkness...

We are now living a "New Normal"...

Grumpy Old Women

2010-03-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Denial… Maybe…

I wake up and my day begins..Again..

I have often wondered what it would be like to have the money back that I have spent on products to make myself look better. Especially since not one of the millions of dollars of make-up, shampoos or lotions have made me look one bit better.

I have spent hundreds of dollars each month on products “Guaranteed or your money back” for the unwanted wrinkles. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any of my wrinkles. Then there is the matter of hair products; I have had to create a pathway in my shower for the thousands of dollars of shampoos. One of my shampoos is for curls (my latest craze). One is for colored or tinted hair (I think that was last month) and then there is the shampoo for fine limp hair when my hair is in desperate need of a style.

Are you getting the visual here?

Once I have weeded through the obstacle course of beauty, I head to the kitchen to down some more Starbucks coffee. Usually this is my 2^nd or 3^rd cup but who’s counting. I need my caffeine.

Walking by the mirror, I’m frequently reminded of the unwanted visitor. Some grumpy old lady that does very little to contribute to the household other than her perpetual complaining. Heck, truth be known, she looks a lot like my momma. She is even starting to sound like her.

The more I yell at the old lady in the mirror, the more she yells back. After I have completed my daily ceremony, I leave for work. Off to horde my savings for my glorious golden days. However, I have the idea that by the time I get to those days, I’ll have saved up enough money to buy a pair of panty hose. Cheap ones at that.

No use in throwing a hissy fit.

Getting back to the sad and disconcerting truth of this new momentous metamorphosis’ such as the fat behind our arms soaring in the wind now appears as angel wings just about to bud. And ladies, it is OK to buy a smaller size bra so that we can roll your Tata’s up and stuff them into the desired cup size. And last but not least, the little bags under our eyes, well just thank your parents. We can sure enough try the cucumbers chilled and put on our eyes for 20 minutes, when done, throw them in our salad.

Ladies, we don’t want to waste anything.

Eventually reality will set in; and we will get to the” who- gives-a –rats-butt care in the world.” So next time, say hi to the old lady in the mirror, don’t kick the kid and lock up the dog. Or is it lock up the kid and kick the dog?

Whichever-- don’t take life so seriously, no one gets out alive!!

I Can Fly

2010-03-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

(psalm 106:12)" Then they believed his promises and sang His praise"

When you come to the edge of the light and must take a step into the darkness believe that one of two things will happen, either there will be something solid to stand on or you will learn to fly.

(this came from sweet Ivey , Check out her site on Braille books )

Cheesecake Recipe / Thrive

2010-03-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

Cheesecake recipe for Thrivers

1 tbs fiber
2 scoops vanilla syntha 6 powder
2 cups splenda
6 (8oz) 1/3 less fat cream cheese
2 eggs
2 egg yokes (go figure)

throw this in your mixer and let it go... now you can use a spring form pan or regular pie pan... spray the bajezzies out of the pan...with the good ol' nonfat spray of your choice... probably wouldn't want to use the garlic flavor tho'... now you are ready to dump the ingredients into the pan.

now.. did I mention preheating the oven to 325 ? yea, this is usually how I cook too.. I forget!!

throw this pie into the oven... and btw...you should always lick the spoon....;)

cook for 1hr and 15 minutes... this will be perfect....

Thrive is a local weight loss program.. I have lost 25lbs... and it's a very healthy way to live... check out the website....

it's great for low carbers and diabetics...

enjoy....